Hangin' Tough (are you tough enough?)

Be honest, did you look at the title of this post and immediately start singing the song?  Well, if you didn’t make the connection then, this prompt all but guarantees that you’re singing it now. Aaaaaaand, you’re welcome.

As the post title implies, I’m still hanging tough. No cheats to date, not even when the Nothing Bundt Cake was delivered to the office for my boss’ birthday. Red velvet with chocolate chips and cream cheese frosting. Ah Bartleby! Ah Humanity! But, really, I’ve made it this far…if I can stave off the wine and cheese cravings, I can surely live without the bundt cake.

But I have to be honest – last week was HARD. Not so much the limitations or flat-out restrictions, but just the week in general, and I have no idea why. I even took a sick day from work Wednesday and spent six hours holding down the sofa, finishing season four of Sons of Anarchy and catching up on the beginning of season five.  There is nothing quite like a biker gang killing members of other biker gangs, hauling cocaine and eluding Charming PD to make you feel better about yourself. (side note: if all biker gang leaders are as hot as Jacks Teller and Opi <sans greasy hair>, I may have missed the opportunity to become an "old lady")

Everything affected me last week. I cried for no reason (unless you consider dropping my socks in the toilet when I was getting ready for the gym a valid reason for tears). I threw things (A DVD case from aforementioned biker show and my flip flops…at separate times and for different reasons). I kicked the wall (ok, not so much actively KICKED it as didn’t realize my proximity TO it as I was navigating the turn in the hallway…you know, the hallway that’s been there since we moved into the house). It was just a bad week all the way around. My mom said that maybe my biorhythms were off…I told her it was more likely PMS…right before I told her that I was going to bite the mailman myself if he put one more political insert into my mailbox.

CrossFit was tough for me last week, too – not just physically challenging as expected, but mentally challenging as well.  I only made it to the box four times last week and were it not for my amazing coaches and their constant encouragement, I may have opted to take the entire week off just to shake the ookiness (yes, it’s a word).  I’ve noticed that when I’m not feeling my best, my workouts suffer – not only in effort, but also in performance. I know that seems like an obvious correlation, but sometimes when I’m not feeling great my body and mind can still push past and kick ass.  Last week was NOT that week.

My mood improved by Thursday, and I was dealing with things much better than I was in the earlier part of the week (insomuch as I didn’t bite the mailman or throw anything else). That’s when I realized that even during the roughest days, I wasn’t tempted to give up or give in. My immediate response to assuage the tears wasn’t a glass of wine or a box of Cheez-Its. I’m not saying I dealt with everything in extremely adult manner (hi. I cried because of socks), but I also didn’t seek out the outlets I would have pre- W30. I know I’m losing weight, as is evidenced by my loose clothing and the return of my pronounced cheekbones, I’m also gaining a lot, like:

The ability to sleep.  While I’m not a girl that needs a lot of sleep, I do function better when I get quality sleep.  Until W30, I wasn’t getting the hours or the quality, likening my sleep patterns to an insomniac (who actually admits to watching Matlock reruns at 3am). Now, I’m still going to bed between 10pm-11pm and getting up at 5am, but I’m sleeping straight through and waking up without feeling groggy and cranky. And now I understand the beauty that is sleep and what you sleepers have been telling me for years: sleep is like CRACK!

Energy.  Even though last week was a rough week, I still had the energy to get things done and damn it if I didn’t push through with vim and vigor. I know that a lot of the energy has been coming from the quality sleep I’m getting, but I can’t ignore that much of it is also coming from my healthier food choices and the consistency in my blood sugar levels. Some people may argue that energy was never a weak point for me, but spurts of hyper (as caused by sugar, and usually followed by a hard crash) and long-term energy aren’t the same thing.

Clear skin. I’ve been pretty lucky – I’ve never suffered from skin issues.  I didn’t have huge bouts of acne as a teen and I still rarely get anything more than the occasional pimple now.  Most of my blemishes can be attributed to hormone levels, but I’m sure some of it had to do with my inconsistent diet because ohmiGOD you should see my skin. It’s bright, soft, hydrated and, if I’m not mistaken, it sparkles just a bit.

As I get further into this W30 life, I’m also beginning to realize how people perceive the overall plan. I think most people view it as 30 days of straight hell. And while that’s not entirely untrue, it’s also a catalyst for me to integrate permanent changes into my diet.  I really try not to be difficult when going to someone’s house for dinner, or bring attention to the fact that I’m not drinking alcohol, but once people know the details of W30 they want to ask questions.  Below is a sampling of answers I’ve given over the past 22 days…I’ll let you fill in the questions.

“No, I’m not pregnant.”

“No, I don’t think it’s weird to eat this way.”

“Yes, it is hard.”

“If you have to preface the sentence with ‘…don’t take this the wrong way…’ then you probably know me, and you know I will, and you should just stop right there.”

“Nope, still not pregnant.”

“Yes, I’ve tried Weight Watchers. It just doesn’t work for me.”

“It’s not a fad diet.”

“Yes, I miss having a glass of wine.”

“No, I’m not crazy.”

“Really? Moderation is the only thing that works for you?”

“I’m not sure ‘how much I weight I want to lose’ so much as how much healthier I want to be.”

“Yes, it’s rude of you to ask.”

“No, I can’t just have ‘one small taste’.”

“Nope. No baby in here.”

I generally don’t get upset by questions that people ask because it is in everyone’s nature to be a little curious. I think some of the questions are funny, while others I just think to myself, “Wow. Self-edit much?”

I do, however, take great offense when someone tells me what THEY think I should do. How THEY think I should eat. What works for THEM. What DOESN’T work for them, etc.  I don’t feel the need to explain my diet (or myself, for that matter) to anyone.  I’m not interested in becoming a Whole 30 prophet, hyperbolizing that Whole 30 is the best thing EVER.  And, unless I’m paying someone to be accountable for my fitness, I don’t plan to explain my fitness/exercise goals to anyone either. I know what doesn’t work for me (be it because of willpower or body response), and I know what’s working for me right now.

As I get closer to the end, I have begun to plan for the after.  I’m certainly not planning to be as militant about it as I am now, but I’m also not going to undo 30 days of hard work.  I do plan on drinking…while trying to find the balance between moderation and waitwhatdididolastnight?  As a daily rule, I plan to keep dairy intake to a minimum. I’ve actually developed a strong liking for unsweetened Americanos.  I will continue to maintain my paleo influences, including no grains and legumes, but will probably incorporate some sweeteners back into my diet.  In a nutshell (and not a peanut shell, because that’s a legume and those aren’t allowed), I’m planning to keep my diet as clean as possible, while still enjoying life.

I’m eight days from completing Whole 30.  But my journey for clean eating and overall health and wellness isn’t over.  As Donnie, Jordan, Jonathan, Danny and Joey so eloquently sing it: "you know it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings!" And that bitch can’t carry a tune.

Just deal with it, already!

Has it seriously already been a week since I last posted?  I don’t know how you pro-blogging-princesses do it full-time…and work…and CrossFit…and cook…and be social…and still find time to be pleasant. Every. Single. Day.  I’m a great multi-tasker, but if I’m being honest, the only two activities in the list above that I’m willing to temporarily push aside are blogging and being pleasant.  And since I don’t like to push two aside at the same time, the evidence of this post is probably a dead giveaway for how I was at work today. You’re welcome. 

In nearly all of my posts to date, I’ve written a lot about the inordinate amount of planning that is involved when deciding to follow through with a plan such as the Whole 30.  Most of the planning I was prepared for.  Some of the planning required a shift in my thought process and some small accommodations along the way.  Nonetheless, after 14 days of completely clean eating, which can easily be attributed to all of the planning, I’ve fallen into step and it’s quickly becoming a habit. Simply put, I don’t have to think about what to snack on at 3pm, because chances are I already planned for that afternoon snack at 7am.  I’m not saying that now that I’m at the summit everything is hunky-dory, I’m just saying that though struggles may present themselves, planning provides me with an arsenal of tools to help me overcome them. *cue Braveheart score*

However, there was a whole section of Whole 30 I simply wasn’t prepared for. At the risk of sounding esoteric (and I promise I won’t try to balance your chakras, or suggest colonics whilst surrounding your silhouette in crystals), I wasn’t prepared for the amount of inward reflection that this program has elicited. I wasn’t prepared to address the quandaries that present themselves as a choose-your-own-adventure – do I sit here depressed about this situation, or do I eat the GD peanut butter cups to get that dopamine rush and push those thoughts to the side until next time. I wasn’t prepared to deal with the fact that I would still encounter dilemmas, but since I didn’t have the crutch of peanut butter cups (or wine, or chips, or cheese), I would actually have to face those issues and find a new way to build that bridge to get over it.

I’m not a nervous person. I’ve never had a panic attack. I don’t mind crowds. I don’t care about tight spaces. I’ve never felt smothered or held down by life. I roll my eyes at those statements as easily as I roll my eyes when people tell me that they suffer from one or more of them…because I always thought that you have the ability to control your happiness and keep your discomfort in check.  After the first week of Whole 30, I started to become hyper-aware of what I’m beginning to understand are my own anxieties, and I’m realizing that my actions and reactions can range from mildly OCD, to batshit CRAZY in the span of an hour. After a few discussions with my husband (and getting pelted by macadamia nuts in his failed attempt to keep my crazy at bay), I’m realizing I’m dealing with issues that I’ve never had to deal with before. More accurately, I have no choice but to deal with them now, because I don’t have anything to temporarily shift my focus to (like shiny things…and Almond Joy).  It is truly eye-opening and a struggle for me because I feel like I’ve always been able to maintain control of not only myself, but also most situations I’m faced with. This clear thinking and self-reflection sucks ass...right along with growing old. And taxes.

One thing is for certain – I am overwhelmed by the support I’ve received while on Whole 30. I’m touched by the texts, calls, emails and comments, and it seems like every time I’m struggling on the ledge, someone reaches out to me with the encouragement I need at just the right time. That support has come from obvious places, as well as some not-so-obvious sources – from people that have been there, to people that have been instrumental in my triumphs, from my besties who would support me even if it was illegal (ESPECIALLY if it was illegal), to even the people that don’t quite understand it (hi, husband!). It warms me to know that people are rooting for my success, and their investment in me just makes it that much easier to follow through.  One of the most wonderful things I’ve heard in the past couple weeks, is my husband telling me that he thinks I’m beautiful regardless, and that he loves me and supports me no matter what.  Ok, he didn’t say “no matter WHAT,” he actually said “no matter how stupid this diet is,” but I knew what he meant. Sometimes he believes in me more than I believe in myself…and I think I’m pretty damn lucky.

Although I feel like I’m kicking much ass in staying true to Whole 30, I do occasionally have my weaker moments where I think: just a sip of wine…or just ONE Hershey kiss would be ok.  But then I remember how great I feel – not just because what I’m putting into my body is healthy, but also because I’m committed to something tough and in this situation, I’m the one who is dictating my success.  I really wanted a diet coke on Thursday.  I wanted a glass of Chardonnay on Friday night (or three, who are we kidding). I wanted a Rolo-filled cupcake on Sunday. I wanted French fries at lunch today. Tomorrow it will be something else, and the same goes for the rest of the week and beyond.  But, mentally, it feels good to be good, and being good makes me feel good physically.  This week my dopamine is trying on pants that were previously tight, and now having a couple of inches of room to spare. Next week, perhaps my dopamine will be the same pants with an added inch to spare, or non-gaping chest buttons on my oxford shirt.  I do know that Whole 30 is making it easier to choose-my-own-adventure…this time, without the peanut butter cups. 

Weekend Warrior

At the time of this writing, I’ve made it through seven days of the Whole 30.  While it’s certainly not without its challenges, it honestly hasn’t been as tough as I thought it would be…so far.  The weekend required a lot more planning, along with a few pep talks, to get me through some of the rough spots which included three big social events wherein food and drink were a pretty big part of the festivities. But I am happy to report that I made it without the slightest stumble…I’m graceful like that.

I kicked off the weekend with donating some O+ at the blood drive held at my CrossFit gym.  As I mentioned in a previous post, one of my fellow ARCFitters lost her mother suddenly in March, and the blood drive was a way for us to come together as a group and provide support to Kristina and her family, while donating blood in her mother’s honor. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a parent and to see her at the drive thanking every person who showed up, was a testament to her spirit. 

My phlebotomist said I have STELLAR blood and was amazed by my blood pressure (115/75), my pulse (54), and how quickly I could fill a bag. (if I had a nickel…)  Reading that sentence back to myself makes me realize how pathetic I sound while trying to turn my blood donation into a timed WOD, but…rather than rewrite it, I’ll just add: I RX’d that shit! BAM!

Following the drive, a group of us headed to Skip’s Kitchen for food, beverages and CrossFit camaraderie. By the way – have I told you that I have the BEST box?! (damn it if I just can’t say it without doing so in Beavis’ voice).  If you’re contemplating trying CrossFit, I urge you to try my box (!). Don’t worry…we may entice you with the Kool-Aid, but we won’t sacrifice any virgins. At least, not on your first visit.  Also, if you join, then you get to tell people how much fun your box is.

Despite all of the beer and wine and group shenanigans, I still stayed on plan and managed to have a really good time.  However, I drank so much iced tea that I was wide-awake enough at 11:30pm to ride to the airport with my friend, Jake, to pick up a long-time buddy of ours.  I’m also pretty certain that I didn’t shut up the entire time, because the only things I remember him saying were:  “uh huh…yeah…well…” 

APO (against phlebotomist’s orders), I went to CrossFit to sneak in a workout on Saturday morning.  My knalf was still tense and I was still a little wiped-out from the blood draw, but I managed to get in some power cleans, push presses and burpees.  The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, until the husband and I went to the grocery store to get tri-tip to take to the dinner party later that evening.  I suddenly didn’t feel myself and the crankiness that emitted from me can only be described as primal.  That prompted a quick text message to my Whole-30 savior (and one of my fellow CrossFit badasses), Holly: “Tell me the weird, out-of-nowhere crabbiness passes?”  Seconds later I got back: “It will. I muted mine with macadamia nuts during the first week. It helped.”  I wasn’t even finished reading the response to Greg when he started throwing packages of macadamia nuts into the basket (he’s so supportive, that guy). 

Saturday night’s dinner party proved to be the biggest test yet: lots of good food and amazing wine with a group of my besties. Going in, I knew it would be a challenge, and I didn’t try to goad myself into thinking otherwise.  I knew I’d be tempted by the wine and the snacks, but I kept reminding myself how good I was starting to feel and that I knew I had the willpower to get through 30 days.

When everyone was eating mini-quiche and chex mix, I was eating raw veggies sans dip. When everyone was raving over my husband’s sweet broccoli salad, I was munching on spinach salad without dressing.  And, while everyone was drinking the wine…ohmigodALLthewine…I was, once again, guzzling iced tea.  I don’t have to tell you that it wasn’t easy.  Anyone who knows me knows how hard it was to pass up the Orin Swift “Abstract,” and the Chateau Montelena cab.  But, I ate tri-tip and chicken and salad and veggies, and not once did I feel as though I was missing out on anything.  Ok, maybe just a little bit when I bypassed the caramelized figs (over ICE CREAM!), but that only lasted for a minute.  The same minute it took me to get caramelized figs IN my hair, while trying to just SNIFF the yumminess right out of the pan. 

Ever the giver, Greg stepped in and represented Team Chapman with a fervor only professional winos can display.  When I asked him the next morning how much he drank, he replied in the same manner he does every time a hangover threatens to ruin his day: “ALL of it.” This time, I think he was right.

On Sunday, I got the opportunity to celebrate one of my besties’ birthdays with a small group of her closest friends and family.  Rather than have the standard night out to dinner and drinks, she wanted to bring everyone together to spend a day practicing random acts of kindness.  We met for brunch first, where everyone shared their ideas and we mapped out a strategy for these events. (To Type A people like us, even charity work can be orderly).  We took a big bucket of treats to a local firehouse that responded to a friend’s house fire a few weeks earlier.  We went to the store and purchased canned goods and staple foods to donate to the local food closet.  We donated work-wear to WEAVE for women who are going on job interviews as a way to help rebuild their lives.  We distributed dog food to homeless individuals to make sure their canine “kids” were fed. We hid change in playgrounds and taped quarters to parking meters, because sometimes all someone needs is a quarter.

Sunday was a nice distraction from thinking, living, and breathing the Whole 30. It made me realize, too, that even though it feels like a sacrifice to me right now, after 30 days I have the option of going back to doing what I was before I started the program.  Kat and Kristen’s friend, Robin, doesn’t have the opportunity to go back to grab her things that were destroyed by the fire.  People who rely on food donations, don’t have the option to just start shopping at Whole Foods whenever they want.  This really helped me put some perspective on my sacrifice and made me that much more determined to follow-through. 

Ultimately, I know Whole 30 will do great things for my health, my body and my overall wellness. I not only made it through the past weekend, but I woke up this morning feeling recharged and excited to keep going.  I know I am bound to hit some pretty significant obstacles in the next 21-days, but I'm relying on my strength and my new-found perspective to sail past those hurdles. I'm bound and determined to be more than a 30-day warrior.

Wherein I predict Whole 30 will be my bitch

Both days two and three are wrapped up, and even though I started writing this post yesterday, day four is going by SO FAR with nary a hitch.  I’ll update later about temptations that arise when around my CrossFit people this evening.

While I haven’t been terribly tempted to veer off plan, Wednesday was a little challenging because I doubled my activity and had a hard time maintaining a consistent energy level.  I’m sure it had to do with fat intake, etc., and not having enough to sustain long-term activities while adapting to this new lifestyle  (see also: no Diet Coke), so I’m not chalking it up to carb flu or thinking that I’m DYING because I couldn’t have a fun-sized Milky Way from the office candy jar.  Or four of them. Judge ye not until you’ve had to walk past the communal candy jar, with its FREE and readily available offerings. Haven’t you ever had those moments where suddenly you’re two candy bars in and you can’t even remember opening the candy jar to retrieve them?  Some call it a breakdown in will-power, but I call it osmosis.

I went to CrossFit Wednesday at 6 a.m. and then had double-header volleyball matches for playoffs that night.  To say that I died in the first game of the second match would be an understatement.  All of the energy I had during the first match suddenly gave way to crankiness and poor performance.  I felt like Betty White in the Snicker’s commercial…except I couldn’t eat a Snickers bar to improve my performance or my mood.  Toward the end of the second game, I landed wrong off the block and tweaked the back of my knee/calf, which made it almost impossible to move. Three of the four of us on the team suffered injuries, which resulted in an “L” on the books. More importantly, we lost the championship match.  Which meant we didn’t go home with the coveted cheap, blue “Carmichael Parks & Recreation” T-shirts? Seriously. I throw myself on the ground, put my ankles at risk of being taken out from a wayward hitter, and subject myself to being ‘six-packed’ while trying to block one of the guys -- all for an ugly T-shirt!

What I did go home with was cranky-pants, a left-leg limp, a headache, butt sweat (sorry, my blog, get over it) and a floor burn on my right knee.  Normally, the first thing I would do would be to grab a Diet Coke, but since that wasn’t an option, I grabbed a water bottle, poured myself a small glass of iced tea and made myself a snack: an apple and some almond butter. Almost immediately, all was right with the world. It’s amazing how quickly you can get necessary calories to start working if you’re eating the right food. In the past, I would still have been crabby even with my Diet Coke, and then I would have added some cheese and whatever else would “take the edge off,” and then I’d go to bed feeling like crap.

Even after my snack and THE BEST SHOWER EVER ®, the knee/calf (hereafter referred to ask the “knalf,” until my trainer, Sean, can finish working all of his research magic to diagnose) still hurt like a MO-FO!  I grabbed some ice bags, 800 mgs of Motrin and ignored the urge to search the husband’s stash for a long-forgotten Vicodin. I didn’t get the best night’s sleep, but it also wasn’t the worst.  We’ll call that a small victory!

I took the morning off from CrossFit yesterday because of my two-a-day on Wednesday and the fact that my “knalf” was still throbbing.  I still got up at 5:30 a.m., but spent the time sipping a cup of green tea (sans sweetener) and reestablishing my friendship with my Kindle.

Yesterday also marked the first time since they were established that I haven’t imbibed during Thirsty Thursday at work. As evidenced by my post yesterday, I drank some coconut water and I didn’t turn into the least fun person in the room.   Matter of fact, I was still ridiculously funny and entertaining. Just ask me.

Last night Greg and I were both exhausted, so we opted to grab something to go.  Since I’m obviously fairly limited on what I can eat out, and I want to be sure I’m aware of how everything is prepared, to-go food meant a trip to Whole Foods, which has the potential to cost more than a black market liver if you so much as add a cherry tomato to your priced-by-the-ounce salad. (Side note: Greg thinks he has found a way to stick it to Whole Foods by buying bacon by the box.  It weighs much less than an egg, so where he might pay $2 for one egg, he only pays $1.50 for an entire. Box. Of. Bacon. I think he feels like he’s giving the man the middle finger.  He’s so pretty.)

I chose sliced turkey and sweet potato salad from the deli bar and a small raw kale salad.  I wasn’t even jealous when Greg grabbed a slice of pizza to go with his salad…but for a brief second, I did consider licking the top of it when he wasn’t looking.

We were in bed by 9:00 p.m. Nine. Pee. Emm. 9.  It was another of those moments where both of us are reading, pausing occasionally to read an interesting sentence out loud to the other person, while intermittingly sipping from bottled water on our respective nightstands, when one of us will say: “Do you remember when we were FUN on a Thursday night?”  

Nonetheless, I felt great when I got up at 5:15 a.m. this morning. And although my knalf wasn’t throbbing, I was still aware of its tenderness, so I opted for one more day off CrossFit. One thing that I’m getting better about, but still occasionally need to improve upon, is taking the day off when I know my body needs it.  I don’t think anyone who hasn’t weighed more than 250lbs in their life can truly understand the obsession with working out to ensure that I’ll never be that heavy ever again, but it’s all relative and that’s a story for another day.

I’m still adjusting, but so far, I’m not struggling so much that I can’t manage this for the next 26 days. OK, the mere fact that I just quantified how many days I have left may mean I’m still looking for a means to the end, but it’s not (yet) as rough as I thought it would be this early in the game. I still have a long way to go and have no misconceptions that this entire process will be easy, but I promised myself when I started this program that I would record everything…be it success or failure.  Since I don’t like to write down (or admit) failures …that means I’m just going to have to make Whole 30 my bitch. Just sayin’.  

It's not always a simple plan

I am just finishing up a long post about days two and three (which I’ll post later today), but being the easily distracted gal that I am, a friend’s email prompted me to write a quick post about meals and planning. 

A few people have asked me if I plan to post what I’m eating during the Whole 30, especially since many of my close friends don’t know what classifies as Paleo or Whole 30-approved.  As one of my bffs wrote in an email: I just think bok choy and water.

 I can assure you I am eating a lot more than bok choy and water, but posting everything I eat and photos for people to follow along takes commitment and until blogging in general becomes a habit, you’ll have to settle for smatterings of my daily menu.

Also, I’m a creature of habit.  While I like to go big(ger) at dinner and mix in proteins with different veggies, fats, and spices, I can pretty much eat the same thing for breakfast and dinner left-overs for the next day’s lunch.  For breakfast this week I’m enjoying ground pork and diced apples sautéed with dashes of cinnamon and nutmeg, and eggs (I switch between poached, scrambled and hard boiled).  I made a big pan of the pork on Monday and portioned it out for easy breakfast on the go for the rest of the week and I just cook my eggs of choice in the morning and toss it all together.  A few dashes of Sriracha and I’m set until lunch.

Eating healthy with the proper mix of foods takes a lot of planning and preparation and isn’t as simple for me anymore as grabbing a sandwich and calculating its worth in Weight Watcher’s points. Since I started Paleo nearly two years ago, meal planning has been one of the biggest keys to staying on plan. I do my meal planning and grocery shopping on Sunday mornings and spend a couple hours that afternoon prepping for the week.  Making one-pot breakfast or lunch recipes, chopping up veggies and fruits, portioning out proteins and snacks, even writing a list of left-overs that I plan to take for lunches during the week helps make for a much easier week and minimizes the temptation to stray. 

The planning and prepping is hard work and takes up a lot of time that I could be spending doing something else…like tormenting my husband with chick flicks or catching up on the crap programming that fills my DVR…but I know that I won’t have any success unless I’m willing to put in the time and work.  I don’t have to tell anyone that weight loss and health improvements don’t just happen.  The easy part for me is the exercise and workout portion; I’ve got that dialed.  What I need to focus on is my diet and how to properly fuel my body from morning until night to ensure I not only have the nutrients to sustain my activity levels, but also to guarantee that I can overcome the cravings that naturally occur – especially in the early stages of a dietary overhaul.

It’s not easy to think ahead to a weekend with friends, which normally would be filled with big meals and lots of wine, and know that what I will be eating is far more limiting than what they will be enjoying. It’s tough to think about my post-workout Saturday mani/pedi without adding in a hazelnut latte (ok…ok…and the scone).  It’s also a challenge to think that my normally restful Sunday will be trumped by the planning, shopping and prep portion of the Whole 30.

But I have to remind myself that it’s worth it.  It’s worth looking in the mirror and seeing a slimmer face.  It’s worth not having headaches or feeling unusually tired in the afternoons (and wanting a Diet Coke pick-me-up). It’s worth it to sleep well at night, without waking up at 2am to turn on the television, knowing that it will make it that much harder to get up for CrossFit at 5:30 a.m. It's worth it to know that once I get to CrossFit, my body will be able to perform to its optimum and I will be PR-ing the SHIT out of (or at least surviving) whatever wicked WOD the trainers have planned on that given day.

Oddly enough, today will be a challenge.  Our CrossFit box is holding a blood drive in honor of one of our member's mother who passed away suddenly in March.  My box is so cool (he he he...she said box) that everyone gets involved and we can turn anything into a reason to celebrate together.  As such, we'll all be donating blood this afternoon and then hanging out for a bit as a group at another member's (my xfit bff, Beth) husband's restaurant.  I won't be able to have my normal three glasses of wine...or the croutons in my salad...or the AMAZING dressing that comes on the salad, but I will have the support of amazing people who are either Paleo (ish) or have done the Whole 30 before.  The same people that celebrate every pull-up with me and cheer on my labored rope climbs and push me daily to do just ONE MORE REP. The same amazing people that I also happily cheer on and share in the excitement of their successes. So, this afternoon’s challenge can suck it because I’ve got swagger, attitude and some badass people on my side.

Thirsty Thursday: Whole 30 Style

Every Thursday, we close down our office and host an afternoon team building event in our fancy break room. Sometimes there is a theme, but there is always wine and beer.

For the next several weeks, coconut water will be my cocktail of choice. Watch out, kids, I am a party in a Tetra-Pak!

And so it begins...

Yesterday I began my Whole 30 challenge.  Technically, I already follow a Paleo lifestyle, but lately I've noticed that my 90% Paleo, 95% of the time has quickly diminished to 80% Paleo, 75% of the time.  Or worse.  While I'm still planning Paleo meals and make more primal choices when dining out, I'm noticing that my alcohol intake is higher during the summer, which is commensurate with my "good choices" barometer going on hiatus. 

Six friends and two bottles of wine quickly can become 10 friends and eight bottles of wine. One Guinness at the local pub with a friend, easily transitions into three more Allagash Black and numerous text messages and phone calls (and Facebook check-ins) to alert other friends where we are and that they should come join us for still -- more beer.  All of this socializing inevitably leads to late-night noshing on non-Paleo-approved food. French fries?  Oh, why not...I'll just have a couple.  Cheese? Well, it's technically protein. Where'd you even GET that maple donut at 11pm at night anddoyoumindifijusthavea*teensy*bite?! I don't think I'd ever be disciplined enough to order a grilled chicken breast and double sides of kale and spinach while downing my fourth glass of wine. Hell, I can barely exercise control when posting to Facebook after my SECOND glass of wine, how can I be expected to make appropriate choices when my inhibitions and shame are busy sharing a bottle of Cab and catching up on Real Housewives of <insert any city but Atlanta>?

I’ve also noticed that I’m not sleeping as well, I’m not nearly as focused during the day (SQUIRREL!), and while the intensity and determination still lives within me, my CrossFit performance isn’t up where I want it. I recognized that I needed to get back into my clean lifestyle. Even if, after the strictness of Whole 30 is up, I will still drink wine. (Notice, I did NOT add occasionally…I know myself way better than that)

All of that leads to what I'm looking forward to with the start of this Whole 30.  Feeling better, regaining control and making better choices more often.  Looking for my tummy issues to reside (mostly inside, but if it makes that which is visible smaller, too, BONUS!).  Hoping my sleep patterns to improve (I will not buy WEN hair care no matter how many times I've seen the late-night infomercial).  And, most of all, getting back to the basics of focusing on myself and my goals.  While I’m happy when people notice the changes, I’m really doing this for me --for my health and for my own goals.

So, for the next 30 days, I plan to regularly post about my struggles, my successes, my triumphs, my inadequacies, my goals and my feelings as they relate to, as my husband so eloquently puts it: giving up EVERYTHING fun!  (ed. note: my husband is my biggest supporter.  He may not quite understand any of this…Paleo, Primal, Whole 30, CrossFit, running, quadratic equations, world peace…but he is the first person in line to cheer me on and remind me of how beautiful he thinks I am.  And that support level truly helps make these goals easier to reach.)

For those of you not familiar with the Whole 30 (or even Paleo, for that matter), here are the “Process of Elimination” rules for the 30-day program:

·         Eat foods that make you more healthy – meat, seafood and eggs, lots of vegetables, some fruit, and plenty of healthy fats

·         Do not consume any added sugar, alcohol, grains, legumes or dairy (this goes for artificial sweeteners...Splenda, Equal, Sweet n' Low, Stevia, etc.)

·         Do not attempt to recreate junk foods or desserts by using “approved” ingredients (the Whole 30 authors refer to this practice as SWYPO, or, Sex With Your Pants On)

·         Do not step on the scale for the entirety of the program

In the interest of full disclosure, I weighed myself at the start of the program yesterday, and while it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be (particularly since I haven’t weighed myself since the battery died in our home scale), I’m still looking forward to watching that number go down.

I won’t tell you what I weigh…unless you really want to know, and even then I’d probably research some archaic weight measurement and give it to you in Braille, but here are the now/BEFORE pictures (and before you ask, no, I did not paint a tree on my wall...these were taken by my CrossFit trainer this morning):

While alcohol may be difficult to give up wholly, for its social factor and the pomp and circumstance of holding a beautiful Reidel filled with a big, chewy cab...(wait, where was I?)...I think one of the biggest (sadly) will be giving up my daily Diet Coke(s).  My staff have threatened to call-in sick for the next 30 days; I told them not to be silly, that they probably only need to do so for the first 15.  After that, I should be golden.

Upward, onward and giddy-up with this challenge!