Hangin' Tough (are you tough enough?)

Be honest, did you look at the title of this post and immediately start singing the song?  Well, if you didn’t make the connection then, this prompt all but guarantees that you’re singing it now. Aaaaaaand, you’re welcome.

As the post title implies, I’m still hanging tough. No cheats to date, not even when the Nothing Bundt Cake was delivered to the office for my boss’ birthday. Red velvet with chocolate chips and cream cheese frosting. Ah Bartleby! Ah Humanity! But, really, I’ve made it this far…if I can stave off the wine and cheese cravings, I can surely live without the bundt cake.

But I have to be honest – last week was HARD. Not so much the limitations or flat-out restrictions, but just the week in general, and I have no idea why. I even took a sick day from work Wednesday and spent six hours holding down the sofa, finishing season four of Sons of Anarchy and catching up on the beginning of season five.  There is nothing quite like a biker gang killing members of other biker gangs, hauling cocaine and eluding Charming PD to make you feel better about yourself. (side note: if all biker gang leaders are as hot as Jacks Teller and Opi <sans greasy hair>, I may have missed the opportunity to become an "old lady")

Everything affected me last week. I cried for no reason (unless you consider dropping my socks in the toilet when I was getting ready for the gym a valid reason for tears). I threw things (A DVD case from aforementioned biker show and my flip flops…at separate times and for different reasons). I kicked the wall (ok, not so much actively KICKED it as didn’t realize my proximity TO it as I was navigating the turn in the hallway…you know, the hallway that’s been there since we moved into the house). It was just a bad week all the way around. My mom said that maybe my biorhythms were off…I told her it was more likely PMS…right before I told her that I was going to bite the mailman myself if he put one more political insert into my mailbox.

CrossFit was tough for me last week, too – not just physically challenging as expected, but mentally challenging as well.  I only made it to the box four times last week and were it not for my amazing coaches and their constant encouragement, I may have opted to take the entire week off just to shake the ookiness (yes, it’s a word).  I’ve noticed that when I’m not feeling my best, my workouts suffer – not only in effort, but also in performance. I know that seems like an obvious correlation, but sometimes when I’m not feeling great my body and mind can still push past and kick ass.  Last week was NOT that week.

My mood improved by Thursday, and I was dealing with things much better than I was in the earlier part of the week (insomuch as I didn’t bite the mailman or throw anything else). That’s when I realized that even during the roughest days, I wasn’t tempted to give up or give in. My immediate response to assuage the tears wasn’t a glass of wine or a box of Cheez-Its. I’m not saying I dealt with everything in extremely adult manner (hi. I cried because of socks), but I also didn’t seek out the outlets I would have pre- W30. I know I’m losing weight, as is evidenced by my loose clothing and the return of my pronounced cheekbones, I’m also gaining a lot, like:

The ability to sleep.  While I’m not a girl that needs a lot of sleep, I do function better when I get quality sleep.  Until W30, I wasn’t getting the hours or the quality, likening my sleep patterns to an insomniac (who actually admits to watching Matlock reruns at 3am). Now, I’m still going to bed between 10pm-11pm and getting up at 5am, but I’m sleeping straight through and waking up without feeling groggy and cranky. And now I understand the beauty that is sleep and what you sleepers have been telling me for years: sleep is like CRACK!

Energy.  Even though last week was a rough week, I still had the energy to get things done and damn it if I didn’t push through with vim and vigor. I know that a lot of the energy has been coming from the quality sleep I’m getting, but I can’t ignore that much of it is also coming from my healthier food choices and the consistency in my blood sugar levels. Some people may argue that energy was never a weak point for me, but spurts of hyper (as caused by sugar, and usually followed by a hard crash) and long-term energy aren’t the same thing.

Clear skin. I’ve been pretty lucky – I’ve never suffered from skin issues.  I didn’t have huge bouts of acne as a teen and I still rarely get anything more than the occasional pimple now.  Most of my blemishes can be attributed to hormone levels, but I’m sure some of it had to do with my inconsistent diet because ohmiGOD you should see my skin. It’s bright, soft, hydrated and, if I’m not mistaken, it sparkles just a bit.

As I get further into this W30 life, I’m also beginning to realize how people perceive the overall plan. I think most people view it as 30 days of straight hell. And while that’s not entirely untrue, it’s also a catalyst for me to integrate permanent changes into my diet.  I really try not to be difficult when going to someone’s house for dinner, or bring attention to the fact that I’m not drinking alcohol, but once people know the details of W30 they want to ask questions.  Below is a sampling of answers I’ve given over the past 22 days…I’ll let you fill in the questions.

“No, I’m not pregnant.”

“No, I don’t think it’s weird to eat this way.”

“Yes, it is hard.”

“If you have to preface the sentence with ‘…don’t take this the wrong way…’ then you probably know me, and you know I will, and you should just stop right there.”

“Nope, still not pregnant.”

“Yes, I’ve tried Weight Watchers. It just doesn’t work for me.”

“It’s not a fad diet.”

“Yes, I miss having a glass of wine.”

“No, I’m not crazy.”

“Really? Moderation is the only thing that works for you?”

“I’m not sure ‘how much I weight I want to lose’ so much as how much healthier I want to be.”

“Yes, it’s rude of you to ask.”

“No, I can’t just have ‘one small taste’.”

“Nope. No baby in here.”

I generally don’t get upset by questions that people ask because it is in everyone’s nature to be a little curious. I think some of the questions are funny, while others I just think to myself, “Wow. Self-edit much?”

I do, however, take great offense when someone tells me what THEY think I should do. How THEY think I should eat. What works for THEM. What DOESN’T work for them, etc.  I don’t feel the need to explain my diet (or myself, for that matter) to anyone.  I’m not interested in becoming a Whole 30 prophet, hyperbolizing that Whole 30 is the best thing EVER.  And, unless I’m paying someone to be accountable for my fitness, I don’t plan to explain my fitness/exercise goals to anyone either. I know what doesn’t work for me (be it because of willpower or body response), and I know what’s working for me right now.

As I get closer to the end, I have begun to plan for the after.  I’m certainly not planning to be as militant about it as I am now, but I’m also not going to undo 30 days of hard work.  I do plan on drinking…while trying to find the balance between moderation and waitwhatdididolastnight?  As a daily rule, I plan to keep dairy intake to a minimum. I’ve actually developed a strong liking for unsweetened Americanos.  I will continue to maintain my paleo influences, including no grains and legumes, but will probably incorporate some sweeteners back into my diet.  In a nutshell (and not a peanut shell, because that’s a legume and those aren’t allowed), I’m planning to keep my diet as clean as possible, while still enjoying life.

I’m eight days from completing Whole 30.  But my journey for clean eating and overall health and wellness isn’t over.  As Donnie, Jordan, Jonathan, Danny and Joey so eloquently sing it: "you know it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings!" And that bitch can’t carry a tune.